Thou Shalt Not Judge

I still remember that ordinary Sunday morning sometime in mid-July when I woke up with thoughts about how to fill my day with something productive for the kids and at the same time entertaining for me too.

 

Little did I know that by afternoon my Whatsapp would be flooded with every group forwarding videos and pictures of this Black Range Rover whose driver would be faced by an implausible intervention a.k.a his wife literally showing up in front of his car and accusing him of some very dubious deeds. A serious conflict ensued between the two which quickly led to the wife dragging the husband into another car and driving off leaving the passers-by and even the traffic policemen wide-eyed and gaping at the drama that had just unfolded in front of their eyes in broad daylight.

 

Of course, one of the by standers managed to quickly whisk out his mobile device and capture the palpable spectacle playing out right in front of his eyes which led to the video going viral on every social media platform – as has become so common nowadays.

 

Every single person then decided to dissect these complete strangers - who these folks were and miniscule details were unravelled right up to this poor chap’s car number plate and his bank account details. There were then some extraneous names of women thrown in who were supposed to be the ‘other woman’ or ‘bone of contention’ and every few minutes my phone would ping with pictures of a model or actress and even a gossip columnist from a daily newspaper as the temptress in question leading to heightened curiosity. 

 

Meanwhile, in another part of the so called more liberated western world Jada Pinkett Smith revealed to her husband Will Smith on an episode of Red Table Talk about her ‘relationship’ with the much younger singer August Alsina. 

 

It was an interesting interview for sure. In fact, I had my fist in my mouth and I was biting the skin on my knuckles at times in both the similar cases. I’m not sure if that’s a normal thing to do during awkward moments but it’s what I tend to do. 

 

Sure, enough the tabloids went wild covering this interview and some even claimed that it was probably a publicity stunt to gain TRPs because Jada is one of the producers of the show. An apology from Jada was demanded on different social media platforms and there were some who tweeted and I quote one “Jada, full of shit. See the thing about women is that when they cheat, they justify it and try to play the victim.”

 

It’s always a shame when we get to a point in our lives where we have to apologise and explain ourselves. When a situation like this arises, it can lead to a whole lot of empty words. We want to talk our way through the pain but words don’t do justice to the mistakes that have been made. Often this leads to us telling people what they want to hear and not how we actually feel at that time. 

 

A man or woman doesn’t have to feel guilty about falling in love with someone else. And the last thing they should have to do is explain themselves to a bunch of bored people on a Sunday afternoon in lockdown with nothing better to do than to indulge in mindless and inveterate gossip; who have absolutely no idea of the intimate details of their life, soul or relationship.

 

So, the real question I’m getting to here is:Why can’t two people explore their sexuality and relationships without judgement from people who have nothing to do with them and don’t even know them?

 

Also, what is it about celebrities that brings out the worst in us anyway? I don’t even want to get into the recent and very controversial Sushant Singh Rajput mysterious death which 

has got more traction than even covid-19 by the media and people. 

 

But maybe it’s not that simple. Will Smith looked in pain during the interview. And I love Will Smith. The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air was a huge part of my childhood and as fans we’ve invested a lot in him and naturally we feel disappointed when things aren’t as they seem. The harsh tweets criticising Jada and similar reactions condoning the SUV fellow make me wonder is it just about these celebrities or even non-celebs or something more?

 But I don’t understand why Jada can’t talk about her experience in whichever way she likes? Jada mentions she simply wanted to feel good, “It has been so long since I felt good” she says. She also insists her relationship with the singer helped her to progress and learn about her life journey and she stands by her decision.

 

        

I remember that a lot of the chats had two sides with people taking a very tough, no holds barred approach supporting either the husband or the wife in this particular SUV case without having ever even seen these people let alone personally knowing them. Could it then possibly have been their own personal misgivings which were getting an outlet on a public platform with this unrelated incident? Why do we get so angry and feel a certain entitlement to say whatever we want which leads to a whole lot of negative talk?

 

 I can’t comprehend why there was such an uproar about why the wife on Peddar Road had to make a public spectacle with some arguing on her behalf that maybe she was put between a rock and a hard place by her husband. 

 

Sure, Will Smith or the wife on Peddar Road have suffered as a result of this. But I’m sure Jada and the husband have too. And I’m positive other challenges have occurred during both their marriages, including mistakes by all parties involved.

 

I’m not propagating illicit affairs in any way and cheating is never pretty. But it does teach huge life lessons.

 

Jada Smith doesn’t have to apologise or defend herself. She has every right to talk about her life experiences in whichever way she wants. All I’m saying is let us be open-minded, invest our energies into ourselves and challenge any harsh punishment larger society deems ‘correct’.

By addressing each of our reactions and emotions we can delve deeper into ourselves and understand our mindset.

 

After all, Will and Jada are walking on their life path and the Range Rover couple are on their life journey. Let’s leave them all to focus on their lives and let us put our energies into the curveballs our own lives are constantly throwing at us.